Camille's Birthday

Camille had her 12th birthday this week!! I can't believe how time flys! She made her own birthday cake, designed, baked and decorated. :) It is a garden theme, with chocolate cake to represent dirt, green frosting for grass, yellow "flowers" to hold the candles and gummi worms, you know, for worms.

This is Camille modeling a couple of presents. The pink apron is for her new found love of the kitchen and the cute blue hat was made for her by a girlfriend. Super sweet. She is really excited to join the young women's program. She played in her first basketball game last week and they won. :) Love you, sis! It is fun to watch you grow.

Macho Man

These are Seth's muscles. He loves to show them off, but if you ask to see his muscles, he will ask you to help him take off his shirt. This way you can truly appreciate these bad guys!!! Funny, adorable boy.

Dangerously Unbalanced Woman

Look closely at the woman in the corner. See her yawn?
See why?

Christmas vacation here was pretty crazy. You know the movie with Chevy Chase where the weird relatives come to visit? We ARE the weird relatives. We spent a lot of time in our Sunday clothes at the funeral, viewing and a family baptism, and just church. The rest of it, we pretty much spent in our jammies. We drank out of bowls alot. I have a bunch of cups, but everyone takes one to their bedroom and then comes back for another, and pretty soon, we are drinking out of bowls. Sigh. Then we take a safari into the bedrooms to find the cups. The wild animal noises are provided by children because I said we would have to CLEAN UP. These are the code words to signal the wild behavior, and loud wailing.

You know the mental and emotional steps you go through anytime you have to defer to someone? I do that constantly. There are enough people in this house, that compromise is the way we function. After I do this for two solid weeks for 7-8 other people, well, lets just say I'm a little crazy right now. I don't care what anyone else thinks, or wants or needs. Talk to the hand! It might have something to do with my Suburban being dirty. You know how you see cars that say "wash me" written in the dirt? Mine says e=mc2 (squared). Caleb keeps writing it. If they were to dig my Suburban up in an archeological site, they would find such layers of detritis that they would dedicate entire teams to deciphering our culture. My family room is a jungle, my laundry looks like Everest. I'm sure I'll get altitude sickness when I tackle that one.

What I am trying to say here, is I need a vacation from the vacation! Monday was back to school. Every one of my kids had an emotional melt down of some sort. So Tuesday was my turn. (We try to take shifts.) I left the kids with frozen pizza for dinner and ran away. Not far, maybe not far enough, but I am back today, and the laundry that I woke up certain to do yesterday is still sitting there. I have more command of myself today, the tic has subsided into a periodic twitch, so maybe it will get done.

I feel bad. I usually welcome the break and the noise and fun of having my kids all at home. I think it is the added sadness and emotional work of comforting everyone that has taken the real toll. It has been hard. I say it here, because I realized last night that I haven't taken opportunity to talk about it much. Nathan has been gone from home alot, to be with his family, which is as it should be. But I haven't talked at length with anyone about my own emotional struggles. Lucky you!

My sister gave me a tile for Christmas that says "The only normal around here is a setting on the washing machine." This is accurate. If you see me in the near future, and my car is clean, and I have my make-up on, congratulate me, for we will have found our new normal for a moment. :)

Christmas Came Just the Same

These are some photos from our nativity on Christmas Eve. The kids always love to dress up in whatever seems the thing at the moment.
Wise Men (ahem, Women)

I believe Jake was behind the camera, but he started the evening as Mary's donkey. I find I don't really have any good shots of Christmas morning. Things happen so fast, it is hard to tell what is going on! But Santa found us and we enjoyed ourselves. We spent a lot of time with family. We are glad to live close to Nathan's family. And I had visits in December from Shane's family, Natalie's family, my Uncle Duff and his family and a surprise visit from my mom and dad on New Year's eve. Thanks everyone, so nice to see you!

In Loving Memory...

Nathan's father, Stephen McAllister, passed away on Christmas Eve, early in the morning. A second heart attack proved too much for his diminished reserves. We are sad he is no longer physically with us. We are grateful for the comfort of the gospel. We are grateful for family and love and friendship. It has been a time of sweet reflection on Dad's life and on the beauty of the plan of salvation. Love you, Dad. We will miss you.

Festivities

We have had all kinds of concerts this year. Leslie had a choir concert, and I attended a marathon sing-around today. But, the photo being posted to represent all of this is Camille's band concert. The performance was actually a bit of a crack-up. The 6th grade band this year consisted of 1 trumpet, 2 saxophones, 1 clarinet, and 5 drummers. All the drummers played all the time. The bass drummer with particular zeal. And he was standing right behind Camille. All the songs sounded like drums. My favorite then, was "Up on the Housetop" because after the kids all sang "Ho, Ho, Ho," Camille's trumpet would sound loud and clear (no drums on this part) "Who wouldn't go?" right on key, right on time. Good job sis! I'm sure you did great on the rest too. Leslie was fun to watch sing. She enjoys it so much, and she sings from her heart. Caleb, Camille, Miriam and Ethan all sang with their classes today. I enjoyed it all, and Seth was a pretty good sport for staying the whole morning in the lunch room. :)

The next photo is from a few days ago. We had a big snowfall, but it was warm enough for the kids to walk home from school. Jacob came running to say, "Mom, come and see Ethan's new pet!" I was worried. Never know what little boys will make into pets, but this is what it was:

The snowball is about twice the size of his head, and Jake had watched him carry it up the road, slowly eating it. Ewww.

This is where the snowball had to live, if it was going to live in the house. The next morning, I found the bowl of water in the TV room. Snowball pets are easy to dispose of when they die. Even easier than goldfish. :)

Blog Block

Not what you think it is. Not that I can't think of something to say, but one of those times when you have a lump in your throat and you can't. I haven't posted about my father-in-law's heart attack yet, but I need to record a few things so I can move forward.

Shortly after Thanksgiving, my father-in-law had a massive heart attack. The surgeon was able to relieve the blockage in his heart, but Dad had been without oxygen for an undetermined amount of time. He is basically in a coma right now, having sustained damage to some parts of his brain.

His family feels it keenly. There has been much prayer and soul searching, and a kind of endurance mourning. He is not dead, but he is so far from us, that it is painful. A state of limbo where sadness mixes with hope and submission. I wish I were more help. We all do.

I find it hard to carry on with every day life so far. We have socially accepted customs where we mourn if someone dies, but what if you just lose someone's activity and interaction and everything else, except their body? We go back and forth between hope and despair. I watch my sweet mother-in-law, as she sits by his side everyday. Time ticks forward. Christmas is coming. Still the changes we pray for are not yet manifest. His children go to work each day and stop in when they can. The grandchildren pray for him and draw pictures for his room. It is a time to stretch our souls.

I am so grateful for this family that I have married into. I am also grateful for kind words and prayers from extended family and friends. We feel loved as you express sorrow for us, and let us know of your concern and prayers. We love you too. Thank you.